Naomi Osaka stunned the world of tennis in 2021. She was the highest paid female athlete in the world, a tennis superstar who has dominated the sport in the past three years. What did she say that shocked everyone? She talked about her depression. As she withdrew from the 2021 French Open, she said, “The truth is that I have suffered long bouts of depression since the US Open in 2018 and I have had a really hard time coping with that.” With this, she stepped away from the tournament and the potential of winning $1.8M.
Depression. What is it? What can be done when the darkness descends on our mood and doesn’t leave? It's important to explore this important topic to better understand and help with this significant condition.
The definition of depression is not surprising. The American Psychiatric Association says depression is a persistent sadness and loss of enjoyment in activities that affects the quality of living. This mood is more than sadness after a death or significant loss. We call that feeling “grief” and it’s normal. Depression is different, a lingering mood that carries us into dark places of profound negativity. It may show up as having no appetite, lethargy, feeling worthless, smoldering irritability, exhaustion, or morbid thoughts. The symptoms and severity vary between people and situation in life. Here’s what depression feels like, from some who posted on the social media of Danny Baker, a life coach:
“It's like being stuck in a box that you can't get out of--a very dark place where you feel so low that even simple tasks are difficult. You feel completely alone.”
One said, “[Depression is a] total loss of who you are.”
Another wrote, “Depression is a state in which nothing tastes, smells, or feels right and you are unable to think or make decisions--yet you still have to carry on doing all those things. And so much of the time you just don't have the energy or the desire. But you still carry on anyway.”
Yet another thought it was “The belief that you just don't matter.”
A contributor posted, “Feeling numb inside. The world and time just passes by and nothing brings you joy.”
A final description was, “Feeling dark, lonely, scared. Sleep is the only escape from your pain.”
Have you ever been through a long-lasting bout of this feeling? It might show up after being stressed over many different things, after a baby is born, or being stuck in the middle of a long, dark winter, from the isolation of a pandemic, or the frustrating search for a job. Some are influenced by the genes inherited from parents. If you’ve had depression like this, you are not alone. Last year about 20% of Americans had a season of depressed mood.
My first close encounter was with the wife of a co-worker. Following a series of upsetting events with her family of origin and problems with friends, she crashed. When I visited the home, she had been in bed for three days, crying and unwilling to eat. I tried to offer what support I could to her husband, including the encouragement to take her to see the family doctor. I was shaken with the realization that a young, bright, popular, energetic woman could be laid low by a mood disorder.
Depression comes even if we consider ourselves spiritual. The Bible offers the anguish of depression in Psalm 22, “My God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from my cries of anguish? I cry out by day but you do not answer, by night but I find no rest. I am scorned by everyone. There is no one to help. My heart has turned to wax and has melted within me. I lay in the dust of death.” I’m sure you know the name of one person who prayed this loudly for everyone to hear: Jesus of Nazareth.
It’s important to understand that depression is not merely a feeling that a person should get over. Sometimes well-meaning people have a misperception about the cause of a depressed mood. Fundamentally, it is not a spiritual problem for confession and repentance. It isn’t an attempt to gain attention. Science shows that the dark sadness lasting for days involves significant disorder in the neurochemicals of the brain. The happy chemicals, dopamine and serotonin, as well as the hormone norephinephrine are involved in a complex dance of mood creation. This means depression is a medical condition. There should be no stigma, shame, or scorn when one has a depressed mood. When someone has a heart condition, we affirm them for seeking treatment and taking the prescribed medication. Why would we react differently to a brain chemical issue? It does no good to just say, “Pray harder,” or “Other people have worse problems than you, so get over it.” Depression needs professional treatment and engagement by the sufferer to be resolved.
How can we help someone we care about recover from a serious and persistent depressed mood?
First, offer encouragement for your friend to see a doctor. All physicians are trained to address this serious issue. Some medications may be prescribed that will help. These are not addictive. Medical insurance will pay a share. This is a medical condition, so take the medications can begin readjusting the juices in her brain!
Another important step is talking to a counselor. I counsel clients every week who are depressed. Counseling offers the opportunity to unload the burdens, fears, angers, or confusions with someone who cares. The client can acknowledge what is happening without judgment or criticism. Evidence-based strategies can be used to find new thought patterns or behaviors. Sometimes people can develop distorted perceptions, like jumping to catastrophic conclusions without any evidence, as when a grieving senior adult loses hope for living without the beloved spouse by her side. Offer to help find a counselor for your friend. A great resource is the online counseling service I work with, Betterhelp.com. Talking with a counselor will help find a way forward to a more normal mood.
It is also vital to connect with trusted people. Depression isolates. Connecting takes effort but it is critical to rebalancing moods. We are social creatures who must have conversations, hugs, tears, and laughter with others to be normal. I’m not saying you should take a depressed friend to the dance hall for a night of Texas Two-Step. But offering caring, empathetic support in quality time brings a step on the path of recovery. Your presence can be the reality of God’s enduring love and hope for your friend. As the Scriptures say, “Weeping may linger for the night but joy comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5)
Let me offer a word of caution. Some people have thoughts of harming themselves when they are depressed. This is rare—only about 3% of depressed people act on such thoughts. However, more than 50% of people who die by their own hand have struggled with depression or serious mood disorders for extended periods of time. So, pay attention. Don’t ignore the casual comments, the joking plans, or the unusual behaviors. Break the silence to ask your friend if he has thoughts like this. Your concern, support, and prayer can help him find a way forward.
Here’s a true story. During a long, tumultuous night, Jarrod’s mind filled with dark ideas. He felt certain he was worthless as a husband, a minister, and even a human being. Everyone would be better without him. The sadness and struggle that had dogged him for months encircled him like a trap. He knew the angry days and hopeless nights had worsened after the suicide of another pastor in the region. In his words, “I had always battled with having some bad days mixed in with good days, but it seemed my bad days started adding up more than my good ones. Depression isn’t something that jumps on you like a mountain lion in the woods; it is more like an anaconda that slowly chokes the life out of you.” Some weeks before that darkest night, Jarrod and his wife were at the doctor’s office about another health concern. The doctor asked, “How are you handling the pressure at work?” Jarrod opened his mouth, intending to say, “Just fine.” But his wife blurted, “He is not handling it!” That led to some honest conversation and medication. But the pastor was too ashamed to make the visit to the pharmacist. He was supposed to be the spiritual leader of his church. How could he not be handling his emotions? But now, when the sun finally rose on his agonizing, sleepless, life-threatening night, he knew something had to change. He courageously told his wife what had happened. They went to get the depression prescription filled. That afternoon, he opened up about his struggle with friends and started counseling. He believed God was at work in the medication, the support of those who cared, and the acceptance of his own mental condition. Recovery took time, self-examination, and some lifestyle changes. Within months a better mood and more realistic thoughts became the norm. All is not perfect now, but his wellbeing is greatly improved.
Depression is real for millions of Americans. The good news is that answers can be found. Recovery does happen for most people. May we be as angels of God’s comfort and strength to our friends who may be struggling.
If you need more information about depression, go to the National Alliance on Mental Health website, nami.org. The national suicide prevention number is 988.
Cited
Comentarios